Summer Wonderings

Boom- ba boom- ba boom... 
My puppy gallops across the yard, with fluffy, bouncing ears and a tongue flapping wildly out his smiling face. He pushes his big head through a rope diamond in my hammock. He could just go over the edge, but he insists on pushing through a hole. 
A quick "kiss" on my nose. "Hey Mom! Watch me!", I feel like he's telling me. 
And he bounds off to grab a stick, prancing around with his trophy held high. 
I read my book until the light grows too dim to see the words, then I look up, and realize I've really been missing it. Up above, the branches of the two trees who graciously hold my hammock up meet far overhead. Hearing a light, trilling song I search the mess of leaves until I spot its singer- a red cardinal. It lets me listen for a few more measures before darting off into the dusk. 
Lightening bugs start to twinkle and one almost lands on Piper's nose. He snaps at it, cross-eyed, pretending he knew it was there all along. 
Inspired by the serenity my mind starts to wander around the globe. The world isn't so big- I think. I have a dear friend who at this moment is asleep in his bed in Herne Bay, England. I can picture his back garden that he probably sat in before bed tonight, just like I"m doing. I know missionary families in a dozen countries. There are kids in Czech Republic that I've held and laughed with. I know students studying in Asia, serving God in Africa, traveling in France. Yeah- the world isn't so big- just think.. I"m just "me" and I can list 30 people I know all over its surface. 
My mind went further.
 And besides the ones I know personally- there's the people that have affected people I know. A best friend of mine lived for two years in Southeast Asia. That older couple that gave her a home? The man she bought bread from each week? The children she played with and the young girl she befriended? I'm somehow connected to them, though we've never met. 
And another close friend- he's Brazilian. His parents and grandparents and childhood friends and teachers in Brazil I've never met, yet I'm more "acquainted" with them than thousands of other Brazilians. 

Blue to pink to streaks of deepening purple. 
The sky melts into a masterpiece painting. 
And just as I had started to convince myself of my theory that the world isn't quite so big, I realize just how far off I am. 

That sunset- how is it even made? Do you know? I'm sure you can explain to me how the colors and air and light happen- but really, can you reproduce it? The lightening bug- that one, right there- how many times did it flutter its wings today? Was it in the child's jar across the street and it's tiny heart just stop racing from its near-death experience?
The trees and birds and air and people with their dogs in Louisville, Kentucky- I can try to convince myself that this world isn't so mind-blowing- but it really is just that. 
God
He spoke that sunset. He spoke it to happen and it did. 
He knows the life span of every lightening bug, not just in my yard tonight but the ones that I chased and caught when I was six the summer of 1992. 
He isn't just familiar with stories of a bakery owner in Asia- He put the love of baking into the man. 
He knows the number of hairs on my dog, and the thousands more that have already fallen on my couch and carpet! 
The cardinal glorified Him in singing that song tonight, for that was exactly what that bird was made to do. 
Piper, it being so distinctly dog-like, in digging holes, galloping after cats, laughing and panting, chasing sticks, is praising his Maker. 
Yeah- the world is big- really, really big. But I praise my Maker that He knows- no, more than knows. He spoke into being and loves and is sovereign over every beautiful bit of this earth. 
Tonight, don't miss the sky's light display. Lay down your book and just watch. And praise the Author for writing you into the world tonight.

Hearing His Voice

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." John 10:27

Something that has been on my mind recently is how closely am I really listening for the Lord's voice? If a decision were to arise, would I know how He wants me to go?

This came about even more so just over the past few days as I thought of my new job, which I started in August. I have been praising the Lord for providing a sweet new friendship through this job, and that that is, from what I can see right now, the primary reason why the Lord provided this job. But back in May, when I applied for the new position, I didn't have an overwhelming feeling from the Lord in which I knew without a doubt to apply and take the job.
I applied for worldly reasons- a shorter drive to work each day and a pay raise. When I got the job offer, I praised the Lord because it was a great blessing for sure and a surprise that I got it. I knew the Lord provided it 100%.
Now, on this side of the job change decision- I see what other great blessings have come along with it. My question to myself is- would I have taken the job back in May if the Lord would have said "Trust me, take the job. There is someone you'll work with at this school I want you to meet."? Was He leading me like this but I'm not listening to Him enough to hear? Do I need enticing with convenience and money to get me in the right place? What other things am I missing out on because I'm not walking closely enough with my God to hear His voice leading in everything?
But just think- I applied for the job for convenience and money. And through God's grace I got those things but SO much more- relationships/people/friendship/camaraderie trump money by a million. HIS GRACE is so GOOD!
I am reminded of Phillip in Acts 8:26.
"Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, "Rise and go toward the south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza." This is a desert place. And he rose and went."

Lord- may I hear your voice and rise up and go- wherever you lead- knowing that your thoughts are so much higher than mine and you plan to accomplish abundantly more than I ask or imagine!

From the Squalor

Squalor- isn't that a word that provokes mental visualizations? (at work, in my 2nd/3rd grade class we've been learning about text visualizations, so that is on my mind :)

Dictionary.com defines squalid this way :
"foul and repulsive, as from lack of care or cleanliness; neglected and filthy.wretched; miserable; degraded; sordid."

If you knew a hotel room was described as squalid, you'd flee from even one night there, right? Well, Christ CHOSE to come from His throne to our squalor. He came here, not for one night, not just as a baby, but stayed here, until His work on the cross was accomplished. Read the lyrics of this beautiful song, meditate on the deep Gospel truth. Allow your soul to rejoice in it today!

Verse 1
From the squalor of a borrowed stable
By the Spirit and a virgin's faith
To the anguish and the shame of scandal
Came the Savior of the human race
But the skies were filled
With the praise of heav'n
Shepherds listen as the angels tell
Of the gift of God come down to man
At the dawning of Immanuel

Verse 2
King of heaven now the friend of sinners
Humble servant in the Father's hands
Filled with power and the Holy Spirit
Filled with mercy for the broken man
Yes He walked my road and He felt my pain
Joys and sorrows that I know so well
Yet His righteous steps give me hope again
I will follow my Immanuel

Verse 3
Through the kisses of a friend's betrayal
He was lifted on a cruel cross
He was punished for a world's transgressions
He was suffering to save the lost
He fights for breath He fights for me
Loosing sinners from the claims of hell
And with a shout our souls are free
Death defeated by Immanuel

Verse 4
Now He's standing in the place of honor
Crowned with glory on the highest throne
Interceding for His own beloved
'Til His Father calls to bring them home
Then the skies will part as the trumpet sounds
Hope of heaven or the fear of hell
But the bride will run to her lover's arms
Giving glory to Immanuel

Arise My Soul

Have you ever found yourself asking, "Why do I feel this way? When I step back and really evaluate my life, I am uber-blessed, and yet too often I am pouty and ungrateful."

Okay, so maybe you don't talk to yourself exactly like that, but really, do you ever come along those lines?

'Cause I do. I did this morning. Though pouty wasn't big deal this morning- it was listening to lies from Satan. Lies that I'm not good enough, that I don't "have it all together enough". (BTW, PRAISE THE LORD that I don't have it all together, this is the very reason why Christ came to die and did so, and saved me, and now stands as my righteousness... )

And so I found myself searching on my phone (while at a stop light, is that illegal...?) for the lyrics to a song we sing in church. It is similar to what the Psalmist says in Psalm 42:11

"Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God."

In this song, lyrics written by Charles Wesley, set to a modern tune by Kevin Twit, (piano and guitar music found here) the worshiper tells him/herself " come on, soul, don't listen to fear, doubt, past sins plaguing you! Trust in Christ- in His work on the cross! It's powerful! So rise up and believe it!"

Arise, My Soul, Arise

1. Arise, my soul, arise,
shake off your guilty fears;
The bleeding sacrifice,
in my behalf appears;
Before the throne my Surety stands,
Before the throne my Surety stands,
My name is written on His hands.

Chorus: Arise (arise), arise (arise), arise
Arise, my soul, arise.
Arise (arise), arise (arise), arise
Arise, my soul, arise.
Shake off your guilty fears and rise

2. He ever lives above,
for me to intercede;
His all redeeming love,
His precious blood, to plead;
His blood atoned for every race,
His blood atoned for every race,
And sprinkles now the throne of grace.

3. Five bleeding wounds He bears;
received on Calvary;
They pour effectual prayers;
they strongly plead for me:
"Forgive him, O forgive," they cry,
"Forgive him, O forgive," they cry,
"Nor let that ransomed sinner die!"

4. The Father hears Him pray,
His dear anointed One;
He cannot turn away
the presence of His Son;
The Spirit answers to the blood,
The Spirit answers to the blood
And tells me I am born of God.

5. My God is reconciled;
His pardoning voice I hear;
He owns me for His child;
I can no longer fear
With confidence I now draw nigh,
With confidence I now draw nigh,
And "Father, Abba, Father," cry.

D Now weekend

Well I've just got the lasagna in the oven and dishes washed up so I thought I'd write a quick life update. It is a BEAUTIFUL October day. The skies are that awesome shade of blue that I picked for my bridesmaid dresses. Can't picture the blue I'm talking about? Here's a visual...



There- now, the sky comes no where near to being as beautiful as my lovely maidens :) but the color is the same.
On with my post... The sky is gorgeous, I came home from work to a husband refreshed from his Fall break and mowing the yard. I got to lay in our own little backyard sanctuary and read in our hammock for a few chapters. After a game of fetch with a Piper whose new trick is dropping the ball on command (finally!), and after dinner in the oven, I get to reflect a bit on the weekend.

This past weekend, Cody and I got the privilege of teaching the Word to a youth group in Greenfield, Indiana. The youth minister and pastor of the church (wife and husband) met Cody at Union Fuge in 2010. They contacted us a while back and invited us to do this weekend with them.
It was GREAT to get to teach the Word again. If anyone knows me, they know that I love teaching the Word but don't practice that gift as much as I should. They provided materials for us, and with quite a bit of added topics, Scripture, and insight from the Lord I set out to teach as much as humanly possible in 5 short teaching sessions packed into one and a half busy days!

Now, let me tell you, I think I've forgotten what middle school girls are like :) They are delightful, for sure, but I hadn't reminded myself of two things, the immense amount of energy (even after midnight!) and that the main topic of discussion chosen would always be "boys!".

The main topic of MY choosing (and the youth minister's!) was holiness, studying from Daniel, and talking about how to be set apart from our culture for Christ. From there we talked about purity, modesty, salvation (of course!) through grace alone and not through works, sanctification (far too little on this topic, ran out of time), picking your close friends wisely, prayer, their time in the Word, ect. Looking back now, I know that I probably talked way too fast and would have been helpful to them had I typed up an outline of my notes, when I strayed from their book. But I trust in the promise of God that "His Word does not depart from His mouth void, but accomplished what He wills." (Isaiah 55)

The Lord also sustained me greatly through sickness during the weekend. I had just a bad cold with terrible congestion and throat gunk (sorry for that description) that impaired my speaking- the very thing I would be doing the most of! But His grace was sufficient and I pray that my sickness and terrible sounding voice didn't cause too much of a distraction.

The best part of the weekend I think was having a short one-on-one with each girl. Some girls didn't care for this time, I could tell. Like they had an image to uphold, they couldn't be "real" with me and wanted out of there as quick as possible. But others, I was able to see a quick glimpse into their heart and got the blessing of praying with each one of them. What a great opportunity!

Of course the weekend had "youth group brand fun" also- a video scavenger hunt and late night games of "murder in the dark" and talking about boys. Cody and I are too old for this kind of staying up late and after my sweet husband safely drove us home (while I slept) we both crashed at 6 pm!

Praise the Lord for a fun/tiring/great weekend of teaching and getting to know some fun teenagers!

Giving- Tithing in the New Testament

Well its after 11:17 pm on a Sunday night which means one thing: I didn't keep my self-imposed bed-time-on-a-school-night yet again. Why am I just now starting a blog post when I'm supposed to be in bed? I don't know- but I'll try to make it quick.

Today's sermon at my beloved church, Immanuel Baptist Church, was on money. "oh no", you think, "a sermon about money!" But it was really helpful. Very humbly presented and a clear picture of giving from the Old and New testament.

I won't sum up the whole thing here- but just tell you a few things I found interesting/thought provoking.

We think the Bible teaches of a tithe. Actually, the Old Testament law teaches that the Israelites were to give 23 1/3 percent! 10% went to the Levites (reference somewhere in Leviticus, sorry I missed that one). 10% to a festival in Jerusalem ( Dueteronomy 14:22). And every three years, 10% went to the soujourner, the poor, and the widow among them (Duet. 14:28)
That totals 23 1/3 %. So if you say "I give 10% because the Bible teaches it!"- well actually you should be giving more!

So what about the New Testament?
Jesus only speaks of a tithe one time. It is mentioned one other time in the NT also, in Hebrews. But the NT does speak of giving.
2 Corinthians 9:7
"Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver."

If you are a believer- the Holy Spirit lives in you and can lead you to know how much to give to the work of the church. Maybe that will be 10%. Maybe it will be 23% or 50% of your income! Maybe it means $10 a month for you or maybe it means $500 or $5,000. But God doesn't want churches to coerce or guilt people into giving . At the same time, if a person truly is a believer and understands that God can provide for their every need, no believer will think "I'm gonna give the smallest amount possible! Haha! I sure got off easy!" No- the Lord loves one who gives cheerfully as they are led by Him to give.

Additionally, when you understand that Jesus left the ultimate riches of Heaven to come to earth to die for you sins- He left ALL to stretch out His arms and pay the price for our iniquity- you won't dwell on "what percentage should I give?" Our giving should be grace-based sacrificial giving.

I've caught myself thinking and maybe even saying "yeah, we're just poor seminary students right now". Well, our income put us in the top 7% of people on this planet as far as yearly income goes. Top 7 %.
I have a roof over my head in the thunderstorm right now
I am not poor.
I have a computer to type this on. I can read the words I am typing.
I am not poor
I have a myriad of shoes to wear tomorrow, as I got to my job.
What excuse do i have for not giving more?
I have been saved by a Savior who "though he was rich, for my sake became poor".

christians, we must give! Give generously to your church, to missions, to the poor, to orphans and widows.
The Lord can provide all your needs, and calls you to give cheerfully. Trust Him!!

Thankfulness from self-preaching

Ever have a week when it isn't a terrible week, but not overwhelmingly wonderful either? Just- normal. A normal week. You feel like there is nothing to complain about but not too much to get excited about? That's sort of the kind of week I have had. Predictable would be a good word for it. Day to day life.

When I start thinking that this life is too mundane- I remember what I deserve to get- hell, condemnation, isolation from God- and think on what I have been gifted instead- a relationship with the Living God for eternity and daily grace- and I realize that nothing about that is mundane! Sometimes this Gospel truth doesn't just jump into my head. Sometimes walking down the hall at school going through the motions (literally, as I wave my arms through the air interpreting for the 7th hour of the school day) the Gospel doesn't just shine through me like light through a jack-o-lantern. I've got to dig around, got to ask "what is it I'm placing my trust in right now?" "what does it look like in this situation to rely on Christ?"

Sometimes, the Lord brings to mind full Scripture, and as if flows through my mind, I find comfort and rest in the Truth. At times, all I can answer myself is "Christ. His grace. You don't deserve it, but He died for you". And that is enough too.

I need to preach the Gospel to myself daily. Don't you? Isn't it SO GOOD to know that salvation isn't walking down an aisle, saying a prayer and then its done? No- the Lord continually sanctifies us, blesses us, gifts us, teaches us, changes us from one degree of glory to another. And I, for one, desire to be filled with praise for this much more in the "mundane day-to-day" of life.

Continuing my list:

21. The GOSPEL- which I can hear every day for the rest of my life and I will never be tired of it.
22. I am thankful for my job, that I have one to go to everyday.
23. Thankful for cooler weather- the crispness new in the air today!
24. Thankful for a dear, bosom friend, and a few hours with her tonight before she moves away. Thankful for hundreds of hours of precious memories with her the past few years.
25. Thankful to the Lord for answered prayers concerning apt, job, safe travel, ect for friend.
26. Praise the Lord for Elisabeth Elliot and the grace given to her. Thankful for her books that are grace to me.
27. Thankful for beef stew in a bread bowl.
28. Grateful that tomorrow we can wear jeans and a t shirt to work.
29. Thankful for Psalm 105
30. I am thankful that tomorrow is a weekend!

Reflections on September 11

Sitting in the back corner of business class, I was probably chatting with a few of my good friends who sat near me. Considering it was my freshman year of high school, as a fairly immature 15 year old girl, with homecoming fast approaching, I can pretty safely guess that I was whispering about who was wearing whose football jersey that week and who may be asking who to the homecoming dance.
A few minutes into class our teacher walked in and clicked on the tv. She quickly explained what had happened- a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center in NYC. The name of that building sounded familiar- but I didn't understand what was important about this. I didn't get why it would happen, who did it, what it would mean. She left the TV on and our petty conversations quickly died away as real life dawned upon us. I watched, stunned into silence, as cameras zoomed in on people jumping to their deaths. I saw the second plane crash into the building and listened as reporters frantically tried to give commentary. News of other planes filtered in and it quickly became a swarming mess of voices, smoke, screams and fears. My friends around me talked with each other - some probably had already moved on, discussing football and homecoming once again. Some analyzed the situation and pretended they understood what was happening. I sat, first fighting tears, and then giving into them. Soon I was sobbing. The kind of crying you don't want to do in front of others- much less in your freshman business class. Heaving- trying to catch my breath type of crying. The teacher asked me if i wanted to call my mom at work and hear that she was ok. It wasn't that- I couldn't explain at the time to anyone what had me most upset.
Near the end of junior high, I had stumbled upon the Left Behind series of books. I had just finished reading the series up to the most current book when I started High School. So when those planes crashed that day, my mind immediately thought this meant the world was ending. I thought it was the beginning of the tribulation. I was trying to figure out if the rapture should have happened already- who should I tell about the Gospel, and all i could do was sit there and cry and cry. At this time in my life, I was a believer, having heard the Gospel and believed on Christ for salvation in 6th grade, but up to this point had received very minimal discipleship. I believed wholeheartedly in whatever someone told me- including the Left Behind series. Panic filled my soul that day and I didn't know how to deal with it.

Looking back now- I wonder- if the same thing happened today, or another tragedy to that magnitude, how would I react? Being amazingly blessed with a Godly friends, Biblically sound teachers/preachers, and my wise husband, I know I would hear truth. Truth that God is sovereign over rulers, authorities, politicians, and leaders.

"The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD;
he turns it wherever he will." Proverbs 21:1

We don't see God's big picture here- but I know now that God didn't change in his goodness or steadfastness that day. He didn't get tricked by Satan, who got an upperhand that day when God's back was turned. NO- that wasn't it at all! I praise the Lord for growing me in understanding of His sovereignty and lovingkindness.

When I look back in 10 years ago today and think about what I thought about who God was, I see clearly that He has been kind to teach me of His character. But now I need to ask myself- though i was more immature then, and had a wrong idea of the end times- am I as zealous for sharing the Gospel now as I was then? Yes I came at it with naivety, but also with a precious innocence. The thoughts of "People are dieing, the world may end today, and I've got to tell people, I've got to pray, i've got to cry out to God."- were constantly running through my mind that day.
Do I wake up each day, get ready for work, and interact with my coworkers with the same intense desire to be a Gospel light in my workplace? Do i have conversations with family members with intentionality, or do I hunker back in fear of man instead of fear of the Lord?

The Lord alone can save sinners. The Lord alone can stir within hearts and open blind eyes to see their need for His salvation. And in light of those truths and the Great Commission given to Christians by the Lord:

"Go therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:18-20

In light of that- I must ask myself, do I regard people from an eternal perspective as I did on September 11, 2001, when, with childish passion, I wanted to proclaim the Gospel to my whole school? May the Lord fill me such passion anew!

Declaring - my entry into the blogging world and....

Well- here it goes. Attempt #2 at blogging. This time around I hope to focus my thoughts more- instead of swimming randomly around in the great sea of blogs out there, thinking to write a little of this, a little of that, and giving up in the end, I'll focus on one main idea and see what branches out of it.
So- the main idea? Thankfulness.
The Word says in Psalm 107 to give sacrifices of thankfuless and to declare the Lord's good works. We all hear enough complaining every day. To have what someone else has, or does, or doesn't have to do- don't those thoughts plague you enough? They do me. But the Lord has SO RICHLY blessed me. Why do I still doubt, compare, and sulk?
Partly because I don't preach the Gospel to myself enough.
The Gospel- that I am utterly, hopelessly a sinner deserving of hell. But the Lord, in His immense grace, send His Son to take my punishment on Himself. Jesus Christ died, defeating my sin (and yours) on the cross, and rose three days later, defeating death. He is now seated in Heaven, interceding for me to God night and day.
Because of THIS Gospel- that nothing I have done or ever will do is good enough to earn my own salvation, AND that nothing I have done or ever will do is bad enough to negate Christ's sacrificial death- I live a life redeemed. I live an abundant life- filled with blessings from the Lord.
Sometimes those blessings look like blessings- a house provided for us to live in, a new job that was long prayed for. Sometimes blessings look like sanctification- painful relationships, confession of sins, learning and growing.
But all of this, in light of the Gospel, are lists and lists of things to be thankful for.

So instead of looking at this world and seeing what I wish I had or did- I'm gonna "set my eyes on Christ, the author and perfector of my faith". "Set your eyes on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. (Colossian 3 something, near the beginning)
I'm gonna aim to be thankful. To abound with thanksgiving. To Declare His works, His righteousness, His grace.